I am haunted by an email. About every six months, I pop open ye ol’ Gmail, and I see it sitting in my inbox. Unassuming and bold, just like the other unopened emails waiting for my attention. But, this one I know is possessed with the evils. I was foolish enough to open the first email of its name, and with that, I was forever marked by the dark magic of the internet as ‘interested.’ Initially, I was interested, I can not lie, but now, whenever I see the email or one of its brethren, I am filled with a deep anger. I know this email to be a trap, and I feel a growing resentment with each iteration of it.

I feel this resentment for my bank and its desire to pry away my meager savings. Yes, they know I am a college student, and every semester they send me a cute little note saying, “Hey, we know a way you can pay for your next semester ;).” My bank wants me to take out a loan with them for the coming semester, and they want me to take out a loan to pay off my other student loans. If they have their way with me soon, I will have a loan to pay off the loaned loan. With every email, I resolve to find someone that will do better for me. Maybe you could lend me some advice?

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