Draft
The focal point of this image is the shopping cart surrounded by fog. The fog encases everything around it even the light posts in the distance. No matter how close or far the light just gets lost within the fog’s grasp. The shopping cart is singular with nothing around it but emptiness. All of the lights but one are on and shine through the fog. As one peers into the fog visibility gets lost bit by bit until nothing else can be seen
Revised
The focal point of this image is the shopping cart engulfed by fog. The fog appears to be inescapable, swallowing everything in its path until there is no visible sign of what once was. Not even the illuminating street lights are spared as its once bright lights now get dimmed by the unknown. The shopping cart is solitary with nothing around it but emptiness. The deeper in the fog one goes less of the surrounding area can be seen.
From my descriptions the feeling that I get from this is despair and hopelessness. The lights represents hope however as the fog consumes this hope and they get lost in the fog this feeling gets weaker and weaker until completely engulfed. The one light that has been dimmed out represents hope that has already faded.
The center of attention being the shopping cart in the the empty parking lot embodies fear or isolation. It shows how this fog leaves the area to be excluded, untouched, and abandoned by humanity. After knowing the setting and the name of the image I would say my thinking isn’t really influenced much because I felt like my ideas what is line with what was trying to be presented.
Reflection
This activity for me was difficult at first because at the moment that I started the first activity with having to describe the image as is, I could not help but already try to find meaning or a reasoning why this image was taken or why it meant. However once it came to the revision I found it easier to write as I already knew what ideas to expand on because I’ve gotten used to the idea on trying to find meaning in different types of media. I chose to revise my description with words that I feel better illustrate my ideas because the use of different words might have the same meaning might have a different feeling or sentiment when used.




Great work, Erick. The revision does a good job of linking descriptive evidence to clear claims. One suggestion: instead of “represents” (which suggests a symbolic connection) try a verb like “suggests”. The difference is that “represents” implied an intentionality. “Suggests” is more tentative and hesitant—and therefor stronger!—because it doesn’t claim that the photographer meant it that way.
Good work!